Full of doubts

I am on a mission to get a novel finished. I have written 30 000 words and hope to reach a target of 120 000. Patience isn't one of my strong points but it has taken two years to get here.

I find that when I am writing loads of other ideas arrive banging on my door. I have at least three other projects on the go but need to focus on one at a time.

It is three and a half months until I start the OU course 'Start Writing Fiction'. I want to follow it up with the Creative Writing Courses and the Writing for Children and that isn't something I know much about.

I have earnt a day off work due to overtime I worked last week. The plan is to do my ironing and put clothes away and settle down for the daily battle with my writing.

Of late I have found that it takes me a while to get into it but when I do it comes and provides me with such a high, beyond chemical intervention (Disclaimer: I would imagine, having had no experience of this first hand.)

It is strange that I have a general knowledge of where I want my book to go but when I start writing I assess a whole different part of my brain which takes me somewhere completely difference and a whole fictional world is revealed to me as if I am just writing a commentary of what is going on.

I have a worry about my book. It is the sort of book I would love to read but don't see very often but it is very niche and I wouldn't imagine has very popular appeal but then perhaps I am underestimating the world.

I am trying to get two stories going which are loosely connected but with an over all theme. I feel it will give the reader space to digest each character.

I must get on or I will waste my day in avoidance!

I must get on with some housework.  I really really don't want to but the shirts aren't going to iron themselves.  Off on holiday tomorrow and do not want to come back to a house full of stuff to do.  I am hoping to reunite with my writing self on holiday.  Am taking my little, hamster driven laptop which is my favourite as my husband bought it for me and to me it is a sign of faith that he thinks I have enough talent to invest in.

I have written two screenplays which were completely for my own pleasure and to enjoy rereading as they cover topics than I enjoy reading about.  I have started a novel and got fairly into it when I got stuck in my own mind.  The to alleviate this I started another project, oh what a mistake.  I read on a blog that someone was log jammed and I think that describes it the best.  Yes, way too many ideas, all wanting to be addressed at the same time, all fighting for the sun.

One of my favourite parts of the day was to walk out of work to do home which is great in itself, but I work in a hospital and loved passing the novel stand and pictured my novel on there but it has moved this week and i feel very lost.